Over the course of my recent blog series, “On the Road to Your Community’s Perfect World,” one of the main tenets I’ve stressed has been that every member of a community, no matter who they are, has value and should be recognized for their unique gifts. Everyone adds to the fabric of your community.
In the piece, ‘Empathy and ‘Shared Experience,’ I stressed importance of individual relationships and empathy in building the foundation of a community. In ‘Cross-pollination and Creating Your Own Personal Renaissance‘ I suggested that not only do we need to accept all of our neighbors, but it’s our duty to show them their talents even when they can’t see themselves. In both these pieces, as throughout the entire series, the concept of the ‘Middle Ring’ and neighborhood connections reigns supreme to the success and prosperity to any community.
Also over the years I’ve also written about the stigma of mental illness and addiction and the toll it takes not only on those affected, but on our society as whole. The preconceptions, very often perpetuated by the media and family generational ignorance, is a disease in our society that must be eradicated. These attitudes are prevalent with the lifelong Scarlett Letter given to those with alcoholism or drug addiction where one is never truly better but always in a state of recovery or relapse, and the macho ‘suck it up attitude’ towards the effects of PTSD in the military.
Well society, or should I say the entertainment side of it, may have taken a step towards walking a little more upright on Sunday night. Yes, we pulled our knuckles off the ground (if for just a bit). Sunday night the Tony Award for the best Broadway play for a drama went to ‘The Curious Case of a Dog in the Night-Time.‘ ‘The Curious Case…’ is a play based on the 2003 book written by Mark Haddon which follows the investigation of a suspicious death of a neighbor’s dog. Haddon’s main character, Christopher John Francis Boone, suffers (and I don’t even think I should use that word) with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of Autism.
Asperger’s is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, alongside with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. But it can also result in high functioning specialized area of expertise, such as math in the case of Boone. In fact as only a teenager, he performed at college level. Boone is a perfect example of an outlier in our communities who would be looked at as odd and nothing but a liability. But in truth, he’s the exact type of person that we need to not only accept … but celebrate.
Last fall, on my last trip down to Los Angeles to see my daughter, Alexandria, I read ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ At times it was difficult to read. In fact I had to put it down several occasions because it was just too much. I became immersed in Boone’s decision-making. He methodically described his thought process (including diagrams) – so it felt like you were there as I went though his daily activities and all the preparations, or rather the rituals, he depended on. I was there when he justified decisions I knew were going to go wrong … and did. But to him they made perfect sense and you felt for him. I had empathy. I was put into his world, however different that world was from mine – or anything I could conceive.
We need more books like ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.’ Or maybe they’re out there and they don’t get the recognition. Even the so-called experts predicting the Tony winners gave the play little chance and it was barely mentioned in conversation. Apparently they hadn’t seen it or read the book. But then again it’s the media, why should we expect anything from them but to aspire to the lowest common denominator. This is exactly why we, the people in the streets and in our communities, need to search out these outliers in our society and see what they’re all about, not just automatically dismiss or worse yet brand them with a Scarlett Letter. These are the people who add the color to our lives and unexpected experiences we’ll remember. But it takes effort to break past the stereotypes and societal norms that cloud our visions. It takes exercising our minds, breaking outside of our comfort zones.
I don’t want hold my breath, but I hope this acknowledgement of ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ will start a dialogue on the virtue of being different. I’ve even decided to refrain from calling conditions like Asperger’s and Autism illnesses. Maybe should we all take note and follow. Maybe when we encounter people like Christopher John Francis Boone, we should view it as a challenge to make ourselves better people. Maybe we can look at it as an opportunity to give our bloodied Neanderthal knuckles a chance to heal.
It takes taking a break from the looking for the ‘sameness,‘ if yet for just a little bit. And you never know, if you try … maybe that little bit will become a habit.
And that would be a good thing.
I invite you to travel with me on my journey, “On the Road to Your Community’s Perfect World,” as I attempt to articulate my vision of how we can create better, more inclusive, unique communities as the solution to our society’s pressing issues – both problems and opportunities. Consider each week’s post a mile marker (MM) of sorts, a cerebral off ramp, taking a you little further down this road until sometime in September when we reach … well you can decide what we’ve reached for yourself. Also please subscribe so you can receive the weekly installments.
- MM 1: Rebuilding our Neighborhoods through the ‘Middle Ring’
- MM 2: Empathy and ‘Shared Experiences’
- MM 3: ‘Cross-Pollination’ and Creating your Personal Renaissance
- MM 4: ‘Bridging the Gap’
- MM 5: ‘The Kernel,’ A Cross-Generational Makerspace Ecosystem
- MM 6: Silos
- MM 7: Don’t fall for Starbuck, and “Staying off the Interstate”