Rebuilding society through the ‘Middle Ring’

I grew up in Minot, North Dakota in the ’60s and ’70s. Minot had a population of about 35,000 (it’s a little more now). More specifically, I grew up in Green Valley. Green Valley is a sub-division of about eighty suburban houses, not unlike most other suburbs built in the ’50s. It was what you would call middle class with a few upper-middle bordering the Mouse River. There were a lot of kids in the neighborhood; next door, across the street and down the block. All of us played in the streets and in each other’s yards. Again, probably not unlike most other suburban neighborhoods of that time.

Everyone in Green Valley pretty much knew each other. During the fall the fathers would watch football across the street at Nutter’s; the Vikings vs. the Packers, with Bobbie Nutter in the kitchen. Both sides wore their respective teams jerseys and stocking hats (remember it’s North Dakota). The kids were normally in the back yard pretending to be Joe Kapp or Bart Starr. And every June the neighborhood held the Green Valley picnic at the ‘vacant lot’ which doubled as a baseball field in the summer when school was out (our version of ‘Sandlot’).

As I grew older and went to high school there was less running around in the streets but the neighborhood was still there. When I had parties when my parents weren’t home, the neighbors didn’t call the police – but rather just looked from their kitchen windows to make sure nothing got out of hand. They’d rather have their kids across the street and drinking – than driving the streets and drinking.

When we were kids we knew our neighborhoods. We knew everything, every inch of it. We knew who grew what in their gardens and when was the good time to sneak in and steal carrots. It always seemed to be carrots. I don’t why, but it always was. If something in our neighborhood changed, we knew it. How many of us know our neighborhood now? Not our old neighborhood, but the one we live in now. I suppose you could say that once you get older you don’t have time for those things. But isn’t it still your neighborhood, still where you live? You may not care about your neighbor’s carrots … but shouldn’t you still care about your neighbor?

Will's garage 3

Houses where we can see out to make sure everything is alright

Denis Wood wrote a book, actually an atlas, a few years ago about his neighborhood, “Everything Sings.” It’s fascinating. “Everything Sings” is a mapped survey of his century-old, half-square mile neighborhood, Boylan Heights, in Raleigh, North Carolina. Wood diagrams everything; underground pipes, above ground telephone lines, where the barks of the neighborhood dogs come from. Literally he detailed the anatomy of where he lives. It reminds me of something I would have done when I was ten; a time when everything in my little ‘world’ mattered, a time when my curiosity was unbridled, a time when my neighborhood was all that mattered.

A lot of us grew up like this. Some in better neighborhoods than others. However the one common element is that they were our neighborhoods and we had neighbors. And think a lot of us want our children to grow up in neighborhoods like the ones we grew up in, not in houses where we worry about whether our neighbors can see in. But rather in houses where we can see out to make sure everything is alright.

Tip O’Neil, the Massachusetts politician icon famously said “all politics are local.” Well it’s more than just politics, most things in our lives are local. Or at least shouldn’t they be? Isn’t local where we spend the majority of our time? We may we be up on events in the Gaza, or the Ukraine or the algae contamination in Toledo, but our house or apartment and the neighborhood around it is still where we live and where we spend our time. The convenience store down the street, the dog park we go every Saturday, that’s our community. It’s our little ‘world.’

But how much do we really know about our little ‘world?’ Maybe we know our neighbors, but maybe we don’t. Do we know them well enough to know when they need help? And if we do … do we know what they need? More than likely even though we’re physically present, we’re probably not mentally present. Neighborhoods don’t seem to be the centers of contemporary American life anymore. They seem to be just placeholders for where we sleep, watch television and eat (sometimes) … and little else.

In Green Valley, the first line of help was the neighborhood and those who lived there. If someone needed something, everyone always seemed to offer. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case now. Maybe I’m skewed by media coverage, but it seems that many neighbors would rather call the police and file a complaint … than lend a hand.

The French political philosopher, Alex de Tocqueville, theorized that the concept of American township and its extension, the neighborhood, was the reason for the envied American ‘exceptionalism’ of the 1800 and 1900s. In Europe people resided around common characteristics and demarcations such as language or ethnicity. America in the 1800’s was not so much the case. People of different ‘ways, shapes and kinds’ lived together in close geographic proximity, creating American townships and neighborhoods. While not all agreed with each other politically or socially, they were still neighbors. And when they were needed they were there; the first line of defense against whatever common enemy they all faced or opportunity they encountered.

Introducing the ‘Middle Ring”

Last year Marc Dunkelman wrote an excellent book on the evolution, or should I say the de-evolution of the American neighborhood, “The Vanishing Neighbor.” In his book Dunkelman introduces the concept of the ‘Middle Ring.’ The ‘Middle Ring’ is what Dunkelman calls our neighbourly relationships. This is in contrast to the inner-ring of family and close friends, and the ever-expanding outer-ring relationships fostered by the digital age and social media. Unfortunately the ‘middle’ is not holding, collapsing from pressures on both sides. Social media sites have brought our closest contacts closer and expanded our reach to include ‘weak ties’ that we know only through cyberspace. Compound this with the proliferation of politically and interest segregated cable and internet news outlets, we have little time or attention for anyone else, physically or philosophically. And what suffers are our neighborhood acquaintances, our communities and the memories of what they used to stand for.

There’s been much discussion in the last decade about the decay of the American community, at least as we like to remember it, or as Hollywood portrays it. But really it’s the loss of the ‘Middle Ring’ we’re seeing. We still have communities, they’re just not inhabited by ‘our neighbors.’

It’s the loss of these neighbors who were physically around that could be counted on (often without even asking) that’s creating a social divide in America. In the past, before World War II, our neighbors were our support. They were the doctors, the midwives and the handymen. They were where we could go to get food when we needed it. It’s what got America through the Great Depression. 

We didn’t have to agree with them politically, socially or otherwise, but we knew them and they were still our neighbors. And we could count on them.

But with Roosevelt and the New Deal, the government became America’s support system. The help of your neighbor wasn’t as important. That worked fine, but that reliance on the township, the community, the neighborhood and in turn the nurture of our ‘Middle Ring’ began to wane. It wasn’t so evident at first. But the chinks in the armour, so to say, were beginning to show, even back then.

And now it seems as if we’ve all but lost our ‘Middle Ring.’ Maybe not physically. There’s still people who live next door and down the street, but we don’t know them. Maybe we’ve never even met them. We don’t know where they’ve been or where they want to go. And it kind of makes it hard to help them get there.

As a result our neighbors don’t seem to have identities – and neither do our communities. It’s hard to tell one from another. Maybe it’s due to the prevalence of homogenized big box stores like Wal-Mart and Target. Maybe its the MacDonalds or Starbucks on every corner rather than Joe’s Diner or Martha’s Koffee Klatch. Maybe it’s the gated communities where unless you live in one … you don’t know who or what does. Maybe it’s all of it. But regardless, everywhere kind of seems the same. It’s a little like there’s planned communities everywhere, except they’re not intentionally planned.

Irvine California

When did Edward Scissorhands become mayor and who elected him?

My daughter, Alex, and I moved to Irvine, California when she was four years old in 1992. Irvine is one of the nation’s first truly planned communities. It was created out of acres and acres of oranges groves (thus Orange County) by the Irvine family. I remember driving around the city looking for an apartment and Alex said to me,

“Dad, you know that movie with the guy that had scissors for hands? This kind of looks like that.”

My four-year old daughter was comparing our future home with “Edward Scissorhands” and Tim Burton surrealism. And the scary thing was, she was right. And now there’s even more “Irvines” than before.

When we lose the individuality of our community with all its nooks, crannies – all the things that make it different from other places … we lose a little of our own individuality as well. It means less to say you’re from ‘somewhere’ if that ‘somewhere’ doesn’t really have any identifying qualities to it.

Isn’t it time take back our communities? But first we need to take back our neighborhoods and rebuild our ‘Middle Ring. But even before that we need to get to know what’s going on around us. And then ‘piece by piece’ we’ll regain ownership of our physical surroundings and with that – we’ll regain ownership of ourselves and who we are.

Ripped nets

Maybe then we’ll notice the basketball hoops on the school playground that don’t have nets on them. Maybe then we’ll do something about it, rather than waiting for someone else to do it.

Maybe then we’ll notice that vacant lot on the way to work, you know the one that always seems to be filled with the trash – the one we’d rather not look at. Well maybe it doesn’t have to be like that. And maybe next Saturday morning we’ll grab our sons and daughters and their friends and do something about it.

Maybe we’ll notice if we leave the house for work a few minutes earlier we can skip our ‘same as every other day’ Starbucks stop, and try out the local coffee shop. You know, the one with the chalkboard in front with daily specials on it – that we think about stopping at  … but never do.

Remember it was the local cafe or coffee shop that always provided that place where you could stop to find out ‘what was happening.’ Even though ‘what was happening’ didn’t seem all that important … it was still glue that held together the ‘Middle Ring.’

And maybe we’ll think about that elderly woman who lives down the street and who lives alone. Or at least we think she still lives there. But since we don’t pay attention, we really don’t know. And instead we’ll walk over and she how she doing. And better yet, we’ll take our daughters with us (you know that ones that helped with the vacant lot).

The ‘Middle Ring’ isn’t just about geography, it’s about generations and connecting them to maintain the fabric of our communities and ensuring that they’re still there for our sons and daughters.

We can’t expect government or any other institution is going to do anything to bring back our communities and our neighborhoods. They’re not concerning themselves with our ‘Middle Ring.’ With assent of the Republican party and their “austerity is the solution” social policies, what’s left of our communities’ safety nets are destined for dire straits. Some cities are hanging on, but ultimately they’re just about managing the money they have to take of basic services. And sometimes that’s even a stretch. The wellbeing of the people in our community isn’t front and center. They don’t care if the flowers on the sidewalk by Joe’s Diner are watered or even if there’s any flowers there at all. And they don’t really care about the trash in the lot next to the abandoned house, nor the house.

I’m not proposing we step back into the past and relive the supposed ‘good ole days.’ But that doesn’t mean we have to discard them either though. The great thing about hindsight, is that we can learn. What if we take the good parts of ‘yesterday’ and synthesize them with today. What if we created a new and improved version of the ‘Middle Ring, one synergized with today’s technology and social media. That would be interesting.

We just have to start. And maybe the place to start is with that basketball net.

_______________________________________

If you haven’t, I invite you to start by delving into my ideas by reading the series, On the Road to Your Community’s Perfect World,” This is my articulation of how we can create better, more inclusive, unique communities as the solution to our society’s pressing issues. Consider each week’s post a Mile Marker (MM), a cerebral off-ramp from the highway of your daily routine, taking a you little further down this road to a better version of society.

_______________________________________

You can follow me on Twitter at @clayforsberg and on Google+

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Rebuilding society through the ‘Middle Ring’

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s